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The Secret Diaries of Viktor Orban - Nov/Dec. 2015

orbn karikatraNovember 14th 2015
I awoke to the shocking news about the Paris attacks last night. Words cannot express my feelings of shock.
It turns out that one of the terrorists was a refugee from Syria who had managed to travel unchecked across Europe before being given asylum in France. Perhaps France should have followed my lead and built a fence to keep these scum out, but it would be inappropriate of me to trumpet "I told you so!" at this time. I will wait at least a few days before I do that.

November 16th 2015
Hurrah! Hurrah! Rejoice!
Hungary has qualified for the Euro 2016 football tournament, after beating Norway in the playoffs last night! I must confess I got totally Palinkad last night and had a pretty rotten headache all day. This was actually an advantage, since when I expressed my condolences to the French today, I looked totally ashen!
Another one of my cornerstone policies has borne fruit! My critics knocked me when I built all those football stadiums across the country (and one in my front garden), but once again I have been proved right. What this country needs is a government that can make it great again, not a nanny state that wastes money on education and health!


December 6th 2015
Today is the feast of St Nicholas. As is customary, Father Christmas (Mikulás) visits the homes of all good children on the eve before this feast, and leaves them presents while they are sleeping.
The Orban children certainly appreciated the gifts that Mikulás got for them. VIP tickets in the politicians boxed at the Euro 2016 football tournament for Gaspar! Another public procurement contract for my son in law Tibor....


December 8th 2015
A member of Parliament quizzed me today on the procurement processes in Hungary, asking why it was that people close to me always win public procurement processes. I told this man that if he has any concrete evidence, he should give it to the relevant authorities. I did not inform him that the head of the prosecutor's office (my old mate Peter Polt) will ensure that any such evidence is shredded immediately, but did tell him that Hungary has the strictest public procurement process in Europe and that we are totally transparent – one could almost say brazen!

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